Lately I've been thinking a lot about the boundaries and walls we put up in our personal relationships and how easy and hard it is to mend or break them.
One day, strangers.
Day two, I know your name.
One day, strangers.
Day two, I think I've found my match.
One day, strangers.
Day two, I hope we'll be the best of friends.
I guess, I've been thinking, filling the gaps of free time, about all the people I've come across in my yet brief path of existence.
It is completely fascinating to me how the boundaries we set perpetually change, perpetually sit in flux. One day, you may think of me as guarded off, fortress with built-in moat for extra safety. And then, maybe quickly, maybe with a bit of effort, that fortress and moat completely disappear.
When I try to trace the history, most things start off with a hello. A simple ordinarily extraordinary hello, a banal but truly magnificent hello.
Then again, I think back to how I met some of my closest friends and I, for the life of me, cannot remember. What I do know is that for a brief moment, I had not dropped the wall, had not let the moat dry out. But, then, in the next minuscule space of time, things changed. Those moments, to me, are the most intriguing.
I guess there's a threshold we stand on, whenever we encounter some one new.
And needless to say, there's been plenty a time where I never let down my guard. But to those that broke through, whether it ended well or poorly, I have no regrets.
De plus, I think about moments like first kisses. The moments leading up and the moments that follow through. I think those are the most extreme situations of letting go of boundaries.
One moment there exists two people in separate spheres of life. The next they encounter, and there's something [I leave this word purposefully ambiguous].
Regardless, boundaries still exist.
Whatever happens happens but the moment of a kiss, is the moment of greatest intimacy. Where walls and boundaries not only fall and break but disintegrate and disappear.
It's electric how it happens, how it can happen (no matter the end all results).
And then, there's the other side of the hill. The way after letting go, after dropping down, there exists times where its so fast to just put that same shield right back up.
Friendships lost, break ups, fights.
It's crazy and usually abrupt but the boundaries are put back into place. Sometimes as if they were never taken down in the first place. Other times, memories linger like ghosts around the watch tower.
I apologize if my thoughts are more scattered than normal, and tonight [sigh this morning] my words may not come to a conclusion.
This is just my train of thought right now. And, I suppose I'm not exactly sure where these tracks are headed. And maybe, I'm not/never supposed to find out.
The complex bends and folds of human nature is not anything for me to figure out. It's pretty possible that it may be best to leave them draped with translucent fabric. I just cannot seem to help but observe and think.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I'm just looking for something,
to stop me in my tracks
to make me do a double-take.
I'm just looking for something that's original
that not only redefines
something about me,
but changes it.
I want to feel an almost pixie dust
sparklemagic fall on my being.
I want to be inspired.
I want to be inspired so that I,
can produce something fresh.
(Don' t think that I demand something for nothing.)
What's innovative about the same routine?
What's revolutionary about a schedule?
Nothing but the revelation
that it's comforting to have.
It's comforting to know what's around the corner.
But, when will I able to predict something
bull-rushing at me,
Straight up splashing that ice cold
bucket of water on my awareness.
I just want awareness of something,
that moves me more than anything
else in the past couple of months.
This is a love letter. You're not returning my calls and I miss you. Without you, I fall into this weird pocket of unacceptable, almost suffocating mediocraty.
Please, consider my sweet words me throwing rocks at your metaphoric window.
I try to see you, find you, hiding between the sun's rays on a beautiful Fall day. I try to catch you as I look through the golden leaves and let the sun kiss my face. Sometimes you truly peer at me in the nature of the ordinary everyday.
Yet, it is wrong to ask you for a bigger statement? Am I wrong in thinking that I can find you bolder, stronger? Or, are you just playing hard to get? Is that how you make me appreciate you?
Whatever it is that's going on, I just want to say that this will be a life long love affair. Your mystery is something of which I absolutely cannot let go.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I've recently finished reading The Tipping Point. It's my second book by Malcom Gladwell. He's for definite one of my favorite authors. The Tipping Point is about what makes things successful, what makes people successful.
The reason why it's eye-opening is this: the human social creature is unlike what we traditionally like to think about ourselves.
For example, we tend to think that emotion come from within but it really does not. Gladwell talks about a study where students were told to nod their heads under the pretense that the researchers were trying to see if head movement had any affect on music listening. At the end there was an advertisement promoting raising tuition costs at colleges. Well, the people who were simply nodding their heads the whole time where more likely to agree than the control group who kept their heads still. Apparantly, ad agencies know about this and try to make ads on TV that make the eye bounce in a nodding fashion. Interesting right?
But, I digress.
The section in the book about the types of people who really help cause a Tipping Point really got me thinking. Gladwell talks about a type of people called the Connectors who make friends with people in many different social circles.
It got me thinking about my life, and what kind of friends and aquaintances I have acquired over the years. But, also, I started to think about all the people I have lost contact with. People that I may have friended on Facebook, or talked to at a club meeting but never followed through or contact just kind of faded over time.
Well, I'd like to change that. I'd like to reach out, for the first time in a long time, to all of you with whom I have lost touch. If you want just leave me a comment, or send me a message.
When have we last spoken? Where has your life taken you? Do you remember how we met?
I'll start. I'm still Luyba, but depending on when we last spoke I may have changed a lot. I am a rising Sophomore at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. I love the city, I love my school. I like Economics, French, DIY crafts, and revolutionary ideas. I like to explore new places (especially in New York)
I'm not requiring an answer. I'm not even sure I'm really asking for one. I'm just putting this thought out into the universe. If you'd like to re-connect that's fine, if not then that's just as good. If I tag you in a note, I'm not picking you out. If I don't tag you it doesn't mean I'm not reaching out to you.
So, now that I'm done writing, it's actually almost a bit scary to hit publish...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I've been doing a lot of research lately.
Research about making some money.
I figure I should be friendly and share what I've found. =)
First off, interim, Time Out New York always has free stuff to do around the city. It's their theme this summer, I think, to have "cheap" or "free" stuff and features. So, definitely check it out. It has definitely become one of my favorite resources this summer.
TONY also had a feature about finding side jobs, here's the link. Some ideas are kind of neat, so it's worth it to check out if you have some free time.
This is some sort of college guide to making smart decisions. There is a whole section dedicated to how expensive alcohol is. haha
I forget how I found out about this one, but I keep meaning to upload some pictures to it. So Shutterstock is a stock photo company, and you can submit your photos to it. You get paid each time someone downloads one of your photos.
If you like that, PhotoEnter has weekly photo competitions. Who knows, might be interesting.
Going along with a media film, I came across Brickfish when I was on FastWeb. I think it's a fun way to enter contests and maybe win some cool prizes.
If you do like entering contests: I found a cool blog thats all about the sweeps.
Also, I'm a bit of a sceptic sometimes. And I have a tendency to think that a lot of those get paid to take surveys junk is kinda scammy. But, I don't know. Some of them seem okay. I have smart friends, I'm sure none of you will get jipped.
One of my newer finds. I tried this out yesterday. You just help people pick domain names. They pick yours. You get paid.
I learnded that online everything is really big these days. (Obviously, I guess) so this is for becoming an online tutor. And, another online tutoring website. There's also a lot of things like, long distance typing and virtual assistants, and stuff.
I get a lot of my information from random articles I happen to stumble upon. This is a good one. I found it on MSN. It's nice because it's tailored for our age group at least. Also I just found knol.com. People just post about stuff they know about. I got my most recent links from it. Here's the article.
Oh man, so it turned out to be a hefty list. I hope it was useful. My favorite new find, though, has got to be Moola.com. Go to the website, it's pretty self-explanatory. In basic, you get paid to play games. Oh, I can intive you to the service and I get bonus points or whatever. So, if anyone is interested =D I'm all smiles.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
it will obviously come as no surprise that I love my city. I always try to write about something else but rarely is it as interesting to me, or as striking as my thoughts on living in New York. I'm not trying to pretend to be some sort of hipster or anything, I just enjoy having the greatest city in the world as a resource.
So, naturally, I took up an opportunity to take a New York TV and Movie Sites tour.
And, actually, I had a really great time, despite the stupid weather.
I went with my mother, so it was a really cute mother-daughter kind of day. (Afterwards we went to eat at this great place called Rice, which I would highly suggest for a decent/non-expensive meal)
Honestly, what I enjoyed most was the fact that someone got to point out all the things I would have never paid attention to. I've walked around Tribeca but I didn't know that the firehouse from Ghostbusters was in the vicinity. I didn't know that the fountain outside of F.A.O Schwartz was the inspiration for the fountain in Friends. That Will Smith lived right by Washington Square park in I am Legend.
I don't know, it was just kind of nice to have someone make something so ordinary, so special for me. I would have walked passed by these places a million times and not given them a second thought.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed being a tourist.
I would for sure recommend this, for a nice day with the fam, or if you have some relatives visiting or something like that. Also, they have other tours like a "Sex and the City" tour and the "Gossip Girl" tour.
Anyway, the link is www.screentours.com, maybe you'll find something interesting.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Today, I am happy.
Truth be told, I am happy a lot of days.
I mean, there is a lot to be happy about, n'est-ce pas?
besides being happy, lately I'm kinda poor, money wise.
I keep trying to force money making schemes on Melody, but she's not having any of it.
So far I have suggested:
1. Throwin' crazyy parties, with some damn good nostalgic food.
Apparantly it's not "economically sound" or something like that. I think in tough times, we need to take risks and be creative. Also, we should thank tourists. Thank them, they are coming here and buying all our stuff. They are brining in the revenue, buying all those souvenirs, those expensive broadway tickets.
2. Mel teaching a "College Life cooking course"
Mel is crazy awesome at cooking. Like this one time I was like "Oh man, I heart madd much the raspberries." The next day, I had 6 mini muffins packaged in a cute box. She woke up early that day to "throw something together." So, away and cooking for herself this year, she made deff scumptuous and nutritious meals. I think her advice need not come for free. I think plenty a college kid would pay like 5 bucks now, in order to keep themselves sustained for 10 months.
So, as is so evident: I think that these are great ideas. In fact, I may just have to do some more convincing. I think a trip to Cinderella box and some shiny new jewelry may do the trick. Or a dinner at Mooncake tomorrow.
Yet, for now, I think I'm going to go through my house and look for junk to sell. My family keeps so much extra electronics and junks that I think I can make some nice cash. I actually found this website today where you can search and post a garage sale. Also, e-bay or craigslist is not a bad way to do either. Any of you out there need a color laser printer? An alto-saxophone?
Then, if my house is not enough, I think I will go to Joey's house. He has quite the stuff in his Brooklyn pad. Today, I saw those things that restaurants use to keep the food warm even.
Lastly, I vow to live a rich (quality wise) lifestyle and I am doing it in three easy steps:
1. I vow to take advantage of all the fee stuff that's going on. TimeOut New York online has madd stuff to do every day.
2.There's this website where you can sign up and they send you a coupon for things to do in New York every single day! It's pretty awesome: http://groupon.thepoint.com/new-york/
So, I can still roll in style, just for less.
3. I'm going to go with the flow this summer. So far, it's been taking me on an adventure and I kinda love it, which is one of the reasons why I am so happy. Like last night, Joey won the ticket lottery and we saw Avenue Q! front row center.
How wonderful it is to be 19, and happy.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
The past two days have been so pleasant.
I love the summer because I appreciate the city in which I live.
I love the summer because of the people with which I spend time.
I love the summer because of the adventures it lets me have.
Yesterday, I spent the whole day with Joey, with the city as our background for adventure. I believe that all of New York sets such a great stage for exploring and quest-ing. Our first stop was the Museum of Sex, which Tracy had orchestrated so well.
I'm glad I've come to a mature point in my life where the Museum of Sex does not embarrass me. I highly suggest it. It was definitely a fun time. My favorite portion were the clips of "explicit" videos from the early 1900's. Following that would definitely be the pre girl-power age SexEd videos from the '50s which teach girls how to be proper women.
Last night, I finally, finally, FINALLY! got to go to my first silent rave! For the moments that it lasted it was beautiful. I most definitely had a great time. This time, I was oh so glad to escape into my noise-cancelling head phones. I had spend the night before creating my perfect playlist and it was definitely worth it. So nice just to be happy, emmersed in some great sounds, having the world play to my soundtrack.
Today, I got to play big sister (which comes with scarcity during my Pittsburgh months) and I took Sofya out to see Brothers Bloom in the Angelika Film Center on W. Houston and Mercer St.
We started out at this AMAZING dinner out on 14th and 5th avenue. It was called "Good Stuff" and gladly lived out to its expectations. Jojo and Ruben (sp?) had just come from the Israel Day Parade, which sounded both amazing, crazy, hectic, and wonderful. .. and crazy. The Jews knows what's up. For real.
The movie itself was so great! I think every moment was lovely and beautiful. It tried to take you back to a time of adventure stories and wild quests. I like that. As aforementioned, I enjoy a grand adventure.
So, like I said, the summer is a wonderous time.
During the summer months, when I'm not adventuring by exploration, I adventure by resrouce.
Time Out NY is my older friend. The one that knows the city like the back of her hand. She tells me about the best places to eat cheap and how to score some extra cash on the weekend.
Going is that chick that always sends those semi-annoying but mostly useful party invites every weekend
Rooftop Films is that hipster, that's down to earth and asks me to come over and watch some indie flicks.
Flavorpill is the trendsetter thats in tune with the hustle and bustle.
FreeNYC is my broke friend. Such a cool guy, but just plain broke.
(These are just some main buddies but I can introduce more if anyone is interested)
I guess, I think that the city is a beautiful backdrop, but I feel that what makes all of my memories so warm is who I'm making my memories with and why. The summer facilitates this oh so well, making it oh so ordinarily extraordinary.
Friday, May 29, 2009
On my way home today, coming from a wonderful day after spending time with JoJo, and catching up with Liz and Ibrahim, my Zune was slowly dying.
So, instead of disappearing into the world of noise canceling head phones, I started to think about my commute.
I feel that "The Commute" is such an integral part of my life when I'm in New York and rarely do I stop and think about it. By far, New York City has one of the best transportation systems, and I only learned to appreciate this after I left for school, and when I visited California.
On $4 dollars, I have gotten from Staten Island, to Midtown Manhattan, to Manhattan Beach Brooklyn. I feel that that is a definite accomplishment.
Sure, it takes time, but The Commute does take time. Today it took me 1 1/2 hours to get into Park Slope, but it didn't feel long. In fact, I was so pleased with how fast I got to Brooklyn, I did not even stop to think that it took 3 whole hours out of my day. But that's the just part of life to me, it's part of The Commute. Time seems to meld into a perception.
So, sitting on my train today, sans Zune, I couldn't help but think about the two most permant memories I have about the train.
This one time, I was on my way somewhere, probably taking the 1 or the R W trains. The train was half empty, kind of quiet. I noticed one man, furiously sketching. Then after a little while, he gets up and starts putting pieces of paper by some of the passengers in the car.
He had drawn portraits of some of the people he saw around him. I feel that that was the first time I ever saw real art. Not some stagnant still life hanging at the Met, or a blotch of Black chilling at MoMA. To this day, I wish I caught his eye and had a random stranger draw a portrait of me.
The second, was one late night coming home on the RW. From my old house the quickest way to get to Park Slope was to go to Manhattan and then take the RW down . The South Ferry Station is the last stop before you go to Brooklyn. And Brooklyn would usually mean, Park Slope and seeing Joey. One night, coming home I just had the saddest, most intense urge just to stay on that train, forget all of my responsibilities, forget that my parents would kill me, and just go. I guess my Id was winning the fight against my Superego that night.
And the thing is, there is nothing special about the South Ferry stop, even though it is the last one in Manhattan, because for me it is special, but not for everyone riding the train. I think that's also beautiful about The Commute. Everyone is on their way somewhere and everyone has a story to tell.
I'm interested in ways that people are connected to one another. I'm interested in how they relate and interact. Only today, I concsiously realized that The Commute is really one of the best examples of people connecting.
So, I truly believe that The Commute is ordinarily extraordinary.
(And as a side note, in reality Staten Island is bigger than Manhattan. The maps just squish it tiny small because we only have one train, one one side of the island)